32

as i snuggle into bed in my footie pjs, i can't help but think how tomorrow would have been P's 32nd birthday. tonight as JM and i talked, i was reminded of P's first birthday we celebrated together. it was his 26th. i got him two remote control cars. i'm a pretty competitive person, so i thought it would be fun for us to have so we could race each other after we got married (which was going to be two months later). that night was really funny because i challenged him to a race as soon as he opened it, but as we lined up the cars, we realized there were no batteries. so sad...

it's crazy how time just keeps going and somehow subconsciously my brain must have known the day was coming up even though i wasn't consciously thinking about it. so today... i was a little down and just felt like wandering around. i had to go and pick up my wallet that i had left at Target by accident then A and i just went around... we went shopping, went out to eat, went to the library, went to drop something off a friend's house, went grocery shopping... somewhere in all that, i did realize that my feelings were due to P's birthday and just feeling sad about it... called AH to talk.

i told A that we were going to make a cake for daddy's birthday and the first thing she said was, "so we could eat it." ha ha... yes and remember daddy. but yeah... i'm not sure if we'll make it out to memory park, but we'll definitely have cake... maybe we'll go out to eat lunch or dinner or both... i've got lots of stuff to do, but who knows if i'll just not care about all that and just want to bum...

P, not sure if you get to celebrate birthdays in heaven, but if you do, hope you have a good one. it'll be your third one up there, so not sure if you're 3 or 32... :) i love you and miss you tons. we're doing real good and know that you would be super proud of your girls... A and i both are so excited to see you. A is lately into saying how much more she loves you than me, so i bet that puts a smile on your face. have fun...