today i had a wonderful lunch date with a dear friend. she has been a gift from God since i entered into this program at TIU and has been an incredible blessing in my walk with the Lord... she has been one to rebuke, speak truth, build me up, talk through problems, lies and happenings in my life... she has been one to pray with me and for me...
so today we were having lunch and she referred to this quote that i am going to share...
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket —safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
this quote is from CS Lewis' The Four Loves...
my friend, RP, has been a truth teller for me and today as we talked about life, past pains, future hopes, lost dreams, and what God is doing in our hearts... she reminded me of this quote. so many times in life we try so hard to be comfortable and protect ourselves and loved ones from getting hurt, but the realities of life is... we'll never feel unless we take that risk... jump off the cliff and see if we can fly... and sometimes we have to do it over and over again... it's a risk, but so worth it!!
in life, i have had my heart hurt by family, friends, boys, church, pastors, God, husband, people i don't even know... and at times i find myself unintentionally locking up my heart in a casket, not wanting to be hurt by those again or put myself in similar situations so that i won't be hurt... but the fact of the matter is... that does not give life.
someone gave me possibly one of the biggest compliments that i have ever heard... said that i was a life giver... that's pretty powerful. so i think about that and how if i am a person that gives life, but am locking up my heart to not feel the one thing that does give life... how two faced is that right??
i want to learn to love. i want to be vulnerable... to those who have once hurt me, to those who may hurt me and to those who don't know it yet nor do i know, but will be entangled with me... whoever they are... whenever they come into my path, i want to love. not keeping it safely locked up that it would in the end be impenetrable, but to freely give... and not because i am able, but the spirit of the ONE WHO IS LOVE is in me.
Lor d would you teach me to love... love my daughter, love my friends, love my family, love my church, love the lost, love the unseen around me, love the hurting, .... love YOU!!! i desire a deep deep intimate love relationship with you... without that Lord, I cannot love. Lord and as i love, i pray for reconciliation, i pray for restored relationships, i pray for trust, i pray for freedom, i pray for your healing, i pray for forgiveness... only you are able Lord!! i lay it all before you and surrender!!
