Yesterday and today have been hard... emotionally draining as the events of this month have finally caught up to me... so as I think of one thing and cry, the next one jumps and I'm crying harder and then I'm just bawling. On top of that, a fellow brother at Bethel went to be with the Lord. His youngest daughter was in P's junior high group and in a summer program that P and I led together one summer. Just the suddenness of that and relating with EH's heart now brought up some of my own emotions, but like she wrote me, "A and P are probably getting to know each other better." and everything else... just emotional...
Today as I was driving (finally got it back-it was being dried out from the flood) and just cried... I saw three beggars on the street and not that it was something new, but I just was overwhelmed with the needs of this world and felt that there are so few people with the task to reach all of them.
You just realize more and more the brokenness of this world... through the different experiences of life... and you think... God when is this all going to be over? I long for heaven so much. Before I have to honestly say it was because I wanted to see P sooner, but now... I long for heaven to be with my Savior... I think of the Chris Rice's song "Naive".
How long until You defend Your name and set the record right
And how far will You allow the human race to run and hide
And how much can You tolerate our weaknesses
Before You step into our sky blue and say "That’s quite enough!"
Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart
Can I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark
And can I leave the timing of this universe in bigger hands
And may I be so bold to ask You to please hurry?
I hear that a God who’s good would never let the evil run so long
But I say it’s because You’re good You’re giving us more time, yeah
‘Cause I believe that You love to show us mercy
But when will You step into our sky blue
And say "That’s quite enough, and your time is up!"
Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart
Can I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark
And can I leave the timing of this universe in bigger hands
And may I be so bold to ask You to please hurry?
Am I naive...
Can I believe...
And can I leave...in bigger hands
And may I be so bold to ask You, to ask You, to ask You
How long?
Lord please hurry!!! The desire of my heart.
February 25, 2005... We had a beautiful wedding... Crazy how some things feel like decades ago, but then it's only been five years since the day we exchanged vows... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part...
