Last week on Thursday, I was scheduled to have a cleaning at the dentist. I usually go to RP in Kansas when we go to visit, but this Christmas is not going to be at their place, so I figured I should get it done. As I was getting examined, my dentist noticed a dark spot in my mouth. I told her it had been there for a while, at least 5 years when P first noticed it. She poked around that told me that I should go see an oral pathologist for a check up. I kept pressing for an answer... and she said it could be amalgam tattoo (which is from the silver fillings when I was little) or melanoma (skin cancer).
I started to freak out of course and came home to look up the two and other possibilities. The next day I had an appointment with my family doctor anyway, so I waited to ask what she thought. She told me that I should get it checked too. So I called UIC and made an appointment and spent the weekend in deep thought.
I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a planner. I like to have a plan and not have too many questions floating around. My idea of taking care of it is telling close friends who will pray with me and not ask too many questions, then wait for the results, have a plan then tell people. :)
Tuesday I drive almost 2 hours down to the Medical district to the UIC oral dentistry place. I had to medical students examine my mouth and then have the head doctor come and examine me. All this effort to tell me I have a mole in my mouth. Seriously. I spent a few days having some seriously crazy thoughts about how if I did have something like cancer it will affect me and those around me.
The good thing about the whole process is how God has really used it to bring perspective into my life. We really don't know the number of our days. I started thinking of all I wanted to do, all I wanted to say to different people, all the things that need to be done and stuff like that... but the thing is, if I live life as if there is no tomorrow everyday, my life would be so different and so much more meaningful. Before all this I had started praying for some specific direction, but during and afterward it was a little bit more passionate... and I feel that God has already started putting together some awesome opportunities to serve Him. I'm praying and ask that you pray with me.
