**our internet is down at the house. currently i am at a coffee shop using the hotspot here while A is at school. i wrote some stuff last week, so i thought i would just put it on. tomorrow my sister comes!!!**
Today there is a man at our house doing some work. Every time I see this man, I think of how I wish P was here. He would laugh with me. No explanation needed, I know that we would just look at each other and start laughing. I did something really stupid one time and this man saw it… it was the most humiliating thing, but we always laughed about it when he was around.
I feel old. I need a nap everyday it seems like. Just tired… I’m not sure if it’s old or young… I mean kids take naps and they say the older you get you need less sleep. I don’t know. Whatever the saying is… I feel that way. I guess I feel it more today since there is a man working at our house. I usually sleep with A, but because of the worker, I’m awake and doing things around the house. The stinky part is that I’m not a coffee drinker so that wouldn’t help. Oh well… I guess it comes with age… ha ha and I haven’t even hit 30… in one year I’ll enter another decade of my life. Ooooo scary.
I guess I just have some random thoughts that I want to type. So as random as it sounds… just bare with me.
I used to like to run. In college, I would go to the gym and run three miles a day. Then it stopped and I don’t have the desire to run again. Although now I could say I’ve done a 5K before. The other day I had a dream that I was running because I liked it. ha ha… I didn’t know if God was trying to tell me something or I was subconsciously telling myself something. Whatever the case, I’m not running, but now the thought has crossed my mind and I’m thinking if maybe I should. Doubt if it would come to anything because it’s so hot here now. I wish it would just rain. Maybe when it gets cooler, I will seriously think about it.
My daughter today had some friends over to play. She came into my room with a book about Jesus. She told me she read the book to her friend because her friend didn’t know Jesus and she wanted to tell her. I was so proud of her. Then she went on to say that she was going to read that book to all her friends that came over so they will know about Jesus. She walked out and started to read the book again. She memorized the words and was reading it to her friend. Although it was in English, I know that God saw her heart, I sure did.
A little while later, I told her how proud I was of her for sharing her toys and that it showed how beautiful her heart was. She then said how Jesus is proud of her too and that He would be smiling at her because she was sharing. A then walked out of the room with a huge smile and played with her friends.
I’m a little frustrated today because the internet is not working. I’m not sure what it is. People say things are not working right because of the earthquake, but it’s been a little over a week and it’s been find up until yesterday, so I have no idea what they are talking about.
Told you this is a little random. I’m typing this in my non-nap state, listening to the man work intently on the house. I can’t believe A could sleep through this. Amazing.
I read today 1 John 3:4-6. I think I mentioned how I was studying these books and it is going by small chunks. It is so great to read and reflect on God’s word, even though it’s only a few verses. It’s really rich. Anyway, I was reading those verses and just thought how much sin I’ve committed and how lawless of me that is. When I sin, I am making a conscious decision to sin. It’s not by accident by any means… and that broke me.
“Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.”
Do you hear the seriousness of those verses? Ugh it struck me again today as I was reading this… How much God hates sin. How I in turn need to have a heart like Him toward sin. When we decide to follow Jesus, yes it has to do with His forgiveness, but it also has to do with our transformation. We need to transform when we come to Jesus… and He does that for us through the Spirit if we allow Him to.
I told A that she needs to learn how to listen to the Holy Spirit in her heart. I explained that if she fills her days and mind with other things, it is hard to focus on what the Spirit wants from her. I know that she’s only three, but I know that God’s captivated her heart already and I just pray that He’ll keep growing her.
I really didn’t like reading books before. I think I always thought of it as a chore and it wasn’t fun, although if I found a book I really liked, I would finish it within days. So before if someone handed me “The Knowledge of the Holy” I know inside I would have laughed at them… it’s just a deep book with a few vocabulary that I’m just like, What? But I have to tell you, I’ve really enjoyed the book. I have to take my time, look up words, reread parts and make sure I get it, but it’s so worth the time. Take time to pick it up and read it. I’ve actually kind of avoided reading it because I knew that AB was reading it to P the night before he died… So it was something, even though I wasn’t there, I knew was just P. As I read it, I know that P must have really liked it. It so fits his reading material. I remember sometimes he would give me reading material and I would be like, serious? But here I am now, reading them and gaining so much.
If anyone has a good book, send it my way. I’m running out, although I wouldn’t mind reading the ones I have again.
A friend, KP, sent us some jelly beans for my birthday. Note to self, do not put a handful in, does not taste good. My favorite flavor is buttered popcorn.
My sister-in-law, the wonderful person that she is, (oh and brother-in-law) sent me salt and vinegar flavor chips… ugh, I love it. thanks.
Please continue to pray for us in safety and health.
