spring, summer, fall and winter is usually how the states determine the seasons... here it has to do with the fruit... oh it's musim manga (mangoes) or musim duku (no english tranlation)... right now it's musim rambutan (no english translation, but it's a little like leches). i love the fruits here so exotic and so beautiful. i just wish it didn't come with so many bugs.
seasons of life are not measurable... and sometimes it's sad how people try to define a season of life for themselves before they even start the season. usually planners... ha ha... that's me. i realized shortly after P's death, how i cannot by any means plan my life too far ahead as i had done before... the bad thing about this realization is that i, being the planner that i am, still have the urge to plan knowing that planning has no meaning because God is in control and things just may not happen the way we plan.
my heart says it with such humbleness... i know in my heart, i may plan, but each day is to be lived for the Lord... planned as you see fit, but also with open hands seeing what the Lord desires of me daily. i really want the spirit to lead my day... my heart open to hear from Him who desires to lead me and desires me to listen.
a few days ago a friend involved in college ministries in the states e-mailed me and it was a short, but very encouraging e-mail. and as i read that e-mail, i wished that i had a leader like him when i was in college, investing in my life as he and his wife are doing.
there are some seasons in my life i would like to do again... yet without those seasons, i guess i would not be the E that i am today.
Lord, thank you for the seasons i have had in my life, the short ones... the long ones... the very very short ones... the sweet ones... the hard ones... the fun ones... the ones full of memories... the breathtaking ones... the i can't get out of bed ones... all those seasons, ordained by You... creates the woman i am today. Thank you for letting me see Your hand in my life through all those seasons... sometimes i have to say, it took a while to see Your hand much less Your goodness in it, but let me say God... You are good and i want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life telling people of the wonderful things you have in my life. my only prayer Lord is that A will grow up to have a heart for people... my only prayer is that there will be people in her life that will invest in her, especially godly men, to grow her into a godly woman that You want her to be. Father, i can't do it by myself... i need you to help me parent her as You are growing me... some may say she's too young, but she is something else... Lord be lord of her life starting now.
Father please hear the desires of our hearts!!!
