I was named by my dad. He gave me some real biblical names... so for a Korean, I have a very Mennonite name, which totally fits P's family. Today as I was driving, I was praying and just talked to God about how I feel my name is the life I am living. I don't think my dad prayerfully gave me my name for me to live exactly like those women, but to have characteristics like them... brave, bold, obedient... Yet today as I prayed... and thought through what the women I was named after did... I thought of how awesome it was that the Lord through my dad named me ER.
E is the queen in the Bible... there goes the whole coded names thing... ha ha... she saves her people... and I thought of how we as believers have a job to save people... I am in my context saving people from eternity in hell... or at least trying.
R is a Moabitess who becomes a widow of an Israelite. She sees God in this family she lived with and follows her mother-in-law back to Bethlehem to have this thing that her husband's family has that no one else she knows has throughout her people. She gives up everything to follow her... and the Lord blesses her for her obedience.
As I prayed in the car, I was so glad to have my name... and glad that my dad name me ER and hopeful for God's faithfulness.... He spoke some promises to me throughout my time with Him, promises of hope and goodness. He reminded me of how He loves me and is still ahead of me, beside me and behind me as I walk this road, even when sometimes seriously it doesn't feel like it. I feel at peace in the palm of my Father's hand.
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Today A and I had a date. I felt that for about a month now, our life has been hectic and we haven't had our own time, so I took her out. I love my little girl. She's got such a sweet tender heart... but today it was tested.
My sister sent us some pretzels, a real treat, so we took some with us on our date to eat in the car. She had the container and I went to grab some and she closed it shut. She told me she didn't want to share... I talked to her about it... asking her how she thinks her actions are making me feel... she said she still didn't want to share and I told her that made me sad. Then A something that was so cute, but so honest... "I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't want to and I don't know what to do." I had this big grin on my face... To see my daughter struggle with one of life's lessons. I told her that at times like that she should ask Jesus what she should do... So holding tight onto the container, my daughter looked out the window of the car and had an internal discussion with Jesus.... She looked so sad, but sincere. It literally took her five minutes, but as I drove and sang to some music, I see this container come my way... opened!!! I told her thank you... she said she would share... I asked her if that's what Jesus told her to do and she said YES. I'm so proud of my little girl.
Now this is in no way to boast about me nor my daughter... This weekend, I went on a retreat with some women. A stayed with my friends. During this retreat, being a good, wise mom was one of my prayer requests. I felt that the Lord really answered my prayers... I continue to pray that the Lord will lead me in parenting A in wisdom and love.
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I think of A's name now and pray for her to have what the women she is named after has, but not go through the specific circumstances. Her name also from the Bible... I pray she will be a prayerful woman, waiting on the Lord and excited about the Messiah.
