What day is it? What time is it? What do we have to do next? This is not what I wanted from this summer. I wanted my last relaxing summer with A. I guess I should have guessed that wasn’t going to be the case when I signed up for an internship. Yet my hopes of a fun filled summer was high since I was only doing the internship three days a week. Unfortunately, it became a summer of busyness.
Days at the pool were scarce. Meeting people was rare. Riding our bikes hardly existed. All things I was hoping to do a lot this summer ended up being something that really didn’t happen. I really wanted to spend time with families from A’s class and build relationships. I wanted to do fun things with my friends and I think I got one movie in with JM and a paddle board date with RP.
In all of the things I did not expect, something else unexpected happen. God started planting seeds of what my future may/could look like. It’s so crazy… It came in the most unexpected, last thing I thought could ever happen type of way. I’m still praying about it so I won’t go into detail, but I just know that what I have been running from may be the one thing that brings joy into my life in serving the Lord.
Another unexpected thing God has been doing in my life is growing contentment in me. I have been for years wanting to get out of being single. I didn’t want to raise A alone, I didn’t want to be a widow, I wanted to share my life with someone else… but this summer God has given me the gift of contentment. I really am content and satisfied at the life God has given me. I have been doing this a little over four years and God has walked me through all of this. Life has been good and God has been faithful. So this summer I have realized my contentment and how even though my desire still exists, my dire need to have someone has gone down.
The good thing is that if the Lord is truly leading me in what I think He is, I’m so glad He has also worked on my heart to be content. A is doing real good as well… of course she still misses her daddy and asks for a new one, I have been reminding her how God has been with us these years and when it’s time, He will provide, but for now… He wants us to be the P girls…
I currently am sitting on the deck of the P cabin in the middle of Kansas. It is absolutely beautiful. I see and unending stretch of land, patches of green and brown/yellow. I see hawks flying in the sky looking for food. The wind is blowing making the trees and dry grass dance to its beat. I wanted to go to this hill that P used to go to with his high school friends and pray, but I decided to spend a couple hours with grandma instead. And now I find myself in the middle of nowhere listening to the wind blow and nature whisper sweet nothings to each other.
This summer was nothing like what I expected, but God is everything I wanted. Through these unexpected times in my life, God has been good and faithful. He continues to lead each step of the way and I continue to wait in anticipation at what He will do.
Please continue to pray for us…
- As we start school on August 22. A is starting first grade (unbelievable) and I will hopefully be finishing my last semester.
- As I continue to seek God’s will for us.
- As we grow in Christ… I pray for purity, holiness and a passion for Him, that we may be called righteous before our King.
- As the busyness of the school year starts that I could make sure to do things for myself and give A space to grow as well.
from my walk around the cabin
sunset at the cabin
