i am tired. traveling is tiring and this past week was emotionally, mentally and physically tiring. being with both families was great, but it was hard having P not there with us. i thought of it the whole time and i know family did too... but trying to make the best of it in the midst of it is hard. it is also very different...
my trip for tomorrow got postponed. praise the Lord really because i am just tired and with moving coming up, i just think it will be more relaxing.
A is so excited to go to our new house. her grandparents got her a play kitchen set for christmas and that's been what she is looking forward to in our move.
A is really enjoying stories... so she says... mommy... tell me a story about daddy. i'll tell her one or two and she always wants more.
tonight i went out with some friends and it was so much fun. we talked about our kids and husbands... and on the way home i thought of something that made me really sad. people are all going to have new stories and i'm going to have the same stories of my husband for years to come. i wondered on my drive home if at any point some people would get tired of my P stories of when we were together, since there will be no development on that one. i also wondered how hard it would be one day when everyone's lives seem to be moving on... people having more kids, anniversaries, funny things that happens to couples, vacations (as families or couples) ... all those things that make more stories, but my stories (at least the one about my husband) will always be the same. i'll have plenty of A stories... but i miss having funny moments with P or doing stupid things with him that we end up laughing about for days... those stories won't be there any more. same with A... she'll have plenty of stories of her daddy, from me and others, but it'll be the same ones over again...
stories are so good because we could remember people by them... it's also sad if there is no more to tell.
these past few days i have been missing him a lot.
tonight as i parked and walked up to the house, i thought how great it would be if he was sitting on the steps waiting for me as we had done before. i thought how wonderful it feels to have someone waiting for you... stinks that he wasn't, even though i knew he wasn't going to be there... you get disappointed anyway.
almost seven months... wow... time is going and june 2008 just seems so far behind me.... wondering if it was really just six and a half months or was it that many amount of years... you wake up one day and a day actually starts to feel like a day and not a year anymore... some day i know a day will feel like it has gone by too quickly. i guess that's when i will tell my new stories and not be so sad that all i have are repeats. (i mean seriously who wants to hear the same story over and over and over again)
**talking about stories... i know i've asked this before, but if you have a story of you and phil (funny, sad, spiritual, whatever) please send it with a picture of you and phil or just of you. this is for a book for A. thanks.**
