during the past year, when life got tough, i always yelled at P. i told him he was being mean for leaving me to take care of all the tough things alone... i felt sorry for myself having to them all by myself at times and wanted to cry because it was frustrating doing things on my own...
today i had a frustrating day, but i saw a growth in myself tonight as i reflected upon the day... i didn't go yelling at P, i just told God how He really lead me to this and felt at peace about the situation. still not concluded the situation, but as i lay down to rest while A was napping, the Lord did something totally awesome. there is some construction going on just up the way from our house and there was constant pounding, making my rest not so restful... so i prayed, "Lord i just need to rest a little, could you make them stop pounding for a little bit?" no kidding within seconds it poured down rain for like 15 minutes. kids and ladies were running home screaming and laughing because of this sudden rain. then i heard the Lord speak to my heart, "i told you i'd take care of you... just trust me." then i concluded, the Lord is going before me, who will be against me? i trust my Saviour is before me and paving the way so clearly for me... so... on frustrating days, i've let go of blaming P, but now see His hand at work even in those situations. please keep praying for this situation, that the Lord will work in it. i feel utterly at peace.
i am so proud of my baby... she is just such a great blessing to me. this week as we got settled into our house, i could see how the Lord is working in her heart and growing her just as well. on monday, she didn't want to go outside unless there was someone there who could translate for her... like me of course... i encouraged her to speak for herself and gave her words to say... yesterday she went out to our gate on her own and said, "ayo main" which means, "let's play". as she said that like 6 kids ran to our gate, came in and played with her... she is enjoying herself and remembers some of her friends that she used to play with.
another thing i am so proud of her about is her adjustment to the mosque. when we first got here, she did not like the calls to prayer. she would cover her ears and cry... about a week into it, she would stand with her ears covered, then went to, "look mom, i'm listening to the mosque"... now when she hears it, she'll say, "mom let's pray"... i love her... she's growing... we spend 4 times a day praying, on top of meals and naps and night time. (it would be 5 times, but she sleeps through the 4am one... so do i...) i am praying that the Lord use her in awesome ways and want to continue to teach her to live a life for Christ... because that's what life is worth.
we are doing really well. the Lord has covered us with His grace... and His grace is sufficient for me... and i love that He is so far ahead of me and i don't have to worry about much... i love the peace He has given me to live out each day. my life is wholly and only devoted to the Lord. what a gift to be able to live under the shadow of His wings and feel His presence in my life.
reading a book now by elizabeth elliot and again i just think of the costs of following Christ... how everything the Lord gives, we need to surrender back to the Lord... not just material things, but our hopes, desires... family... friends... all those we need to give back to the Lord. what a life it is to live with everything surrendered to the Lord...
i think of matt redman's song "befriended" again... this will be my story this will be my song... how beautiful is that, if we actually let the author write our story so that we may sing with joy for the most incredible ways He reveals Himself to us. the Lord is good... He is faithful... Lord may i confess my love for you to the ends of the earth... that people may also experience your goodness and faithfulness... Lord the prayer of my life... More of you Less of me... fill me with you that i may not reflect myself, but what's in me... and if there is more of you and less of me, of course what is reflected is you and not me... to live as an image bearer of Christ is quite a task, but that you choose me... that you choose us to be that mirror image... how i don't want to mess that up... i know i will, but Lord if i keep my focus on you, how little would that be... Lord... this is my story and song... i want it to be only about you...
please pray for us this weekend as you celebrate the 4th of july or wherever you are at... for our continued health, safety. the Lord's protection in this house. for my friend to live with us. as i reunited with friends and depart with others (a couple we were friends with are moving away). A and my hunger to know the Lord more and grow in Him...
thank you so much for your prayers. one friend prays for us every time she finds coins when she does the laundry. the thing is you don't know what that prayer is doing... it could be preventing something or helping us in certain situations. when the Lord prompts you, whether by a coin or whatever, it's because we need it. so keep lifting those prayers us, we may never know why we lifted those prayers. by you obeying the Lord's prompting could save our lives. please never cease to pray for us...
