when i was applying for grad school, i was in communication with the head of the department and during our discussion, she told me that instead of going the mental health counseling (MHC) route, she thought i should go the counseling ministries route. in research, i found out the MHC route gave me a license after graduation and the counseling ministries route gave me ministry skills of counseling, but not the state qualifications of a licensed counselor, therefore leaning me toward MHC. as i started my first semester, my friend and i began praying about whether we should continue with the MHC route because it wasn't really fitting with what we saw we were going to do in the future, which was ministry whether in the states or overseas. the whole semester, she and i would discuss how we really wanted more spiritual stuff and not the psychology that was being taught. we wanted to know how to apply it to ministry, but the licensing route really didn't fulfill that. in the end, she went the counseling ministry route and i stuck with MHC because it gave me security after i was done. i would have a license. that to me was the responsible thing to do as a single mom.
this goes again to the blog about "idols"... i was worshipping security, comfort, my desire to be married... saying no to God or at least limiting God by saying that i wasn't going to go overseas alone again, so if i didn't find someone, i needed security of a good job. all the while, my professors saw it, my friends saw and i heard it, but put my hands over my ears. i wasn't going to use this for clinical practice, God was going to use this in ministry.
like i said before this semester was a pretty emotionally draining semester in many levels... and letting go of this strong grip i had of wanting things my way... was one of the hardest!! these past couple weeks, God has been working in my heart to slowly let go of that grip and give Him back the total control of my life. one action step in letting go was to change my master's program from MHC to counseling ministries. i'm not in this for security or comfort or money at the end of my program, i'm it to use what i have for the glory of God... that's what brings me joy. this changes a lot of my plans... but deciding to again to live one day at a time, hearing God's voice... because no matter what i plan, if the Lord does not ordain it, it's not going to happen... so i will hold on to my plans loosely (no more strong stubborn grips) and eagerly see what God does.
this is a side note, but one thing i realized was how much i enjoyed being overseas... it brought me utter joy and people saw that in me, but also continue to see it in me. like i said before... one compliment i got was that i was a life giver... and i want to do that for others... and that could only happen in Christ!!!
there are a few confirmations of this decision, but one is my advisor. when i went in to discuss this with my advisor i was a little nervous thinking he was going to try to sway me to stay with this program. so i prayed that God would lead the discussion and that my advisor could really help me sort through this. it was amazing how he affirmed me in who he saw me to be and how he thought it would be a better fit for me because he could see how counseling is in the peripheral for me and ministry is where my heart is. he was so good with his questions... i really appreciated him. afterward i was talking to one of my friends and she was talking about how the professors are really ones to push for MHC and not counseling ministries... hearing that i knew God was in this. then i remembered how the head of the department was telling me that counseling ministries would better fit me from the beginning.
something else God reminded me of is that i have my teaching certificate. if i ever need something to fall back on then i have that and He showed me how much He loved me by putting the bill in play and letting it pass so teachers like me who have let their certificate lapse over the years, could get it renewed with no penalty... all needs to happen by september of this year. i already did it!! so if i ever need to go back to the work force, then i have my teaching certificate to get me a job... and teaching floats my boat!!!
praise God, i have not wasted any classes, except one. all my classes transfer over and Lord willing i will be done with my program next year!!
currently i am praying about an opportunity that was given to me for the summer. it is really a good option for me in a number of different ways. so please be praying for me for that!! realizing when God moves, He moves in all areas of your life!!
so i decided to listen... let's see what happens together!
**my parents are in town... we have been really enjoying it. here are some pictures.**
**good night everyone!! enjoy the rain. i'm on my balcony and love the smell of the rain falling. better go in before it starts to really pour down.**
