today as i was reading through the bible for my quiet time, i read a story that i've probably read a lot of times growing up, but today as i read it, i was brought to tears. the story is about the death of lazarus (john 11).
Jesus was told about lazarus' sickness and he says, "this sickness will not end in death. no, it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it." (v.4) as i read that i cried thinking of P. i remembered being in the hallway of the ICU minutes before the doctor came out to tell me P had gone to be with the Lord, bargaining with God for P's life. and i felt like this verse was being said to me, months after... P's sickness will not lead to death... he's alive... alive now more than ever. Jesus explains that in v. 25 saying "i am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." P knew that and so though his body died, his spirit is now with Christ living, alive now more than ever... and in v.4 he says that it's so that God's son may be glorified through it and i cried again thinking how God is using P's death to bring glory to himself. it makes no sense in our human understanding, but it's perfect in God's. P had such a hunger for knowing God's glory... and so he wrote the following...
WHAT IS GOD MOST CONCERNED WITH?
His concern is not that I am popular or likable.
Noah was the laughingstock of the community when he was building the ark.
His concern is not with my health.
He took away Job’s and gave it back when he saw fit.
His concern is not to keep me at home.
He asked Abraham to leave for the unknown.
His concern is not that I understand his plan.
Against all logic, Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son, the long awaited fulfillment of God’s promise.
His concern is not that my life be “fair.”
Joseph was thrown in a well, sold to slavery, and then imprisoned for a false accusation.
His concern is not with my abilities and talents.
He used a scared man with a speech impediment to be His spokesman to Egypt.
His concern is not that I feel good about myself or see the fruit of my labor.
Moses never saw the promise land.
His concern is not with my interests.
Jonah was sent to do what he didn’t want to do in a place he didn’t want to go.
His concern is not that I have friends.
David felt as though all his friends had betrayed him.
His concern is not my dignity.
Jeremiah had to run around naked.
His concern is not first for my family.
Ezekiel’s wife was taken from him.
His concern is not for my comfort.
He had Jeremiah lie on his side for over a year.
His concern is not that I become wealthy.
Jesus asked the rich man to give it all up.
His concern is not with my plans and schedule.
Lazarus was not healed when his family asked, but Jesus let him die to raise him later.
His concern is not for me to have a restful retirement.
Paul spent his last years in prison.
His concern is not for my safety.
Stephen among others was killed.
His concern is not that I have an easy life.
Paul was stoned, shipwrecked, hungry, sleepless, beaten and imprisoned.
God loves us and really does cares about every aspect of our lives,
But He has one main concern.
His concern is that we glorify Him as God give him his rightful place in our lives.
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever!
i think it about now daily on how i may bring glory to Him and knowing that the main purpose for my existence is to bring that glory to Him. praying ever so humbly that i may be used in that way.
i feel the important thing to remember is that everything was not ours to begin with. i love the image of our pastor, PR, standing on the stage with his outstretched arms. an image of giving everything before the Lord and saying use me because it wasn't ours to begin with... what an awesome image. so when i feel like i need to give something up to the Lord i remember that image and do it myself... outstretched arms telling God i'm all His and letting Him know He could do with me what He wants because i want to live for His glory.
i do have to say... i am human so i make so many mistakes and find myself giving up that old self over and over and over again.
God is good. if i could say one thing that would be it... He is good.
right before Jesus raises lazarus from the dead, Jesus asks, "did i not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" after that he raises him from the dead and people got to see the glory of God through that miracle.
i was talking to a friend tonight. as she and i were talking i told her, i would not choose what happened to me to happen, but i do love the way the Lord is meeting me in such an intimate way throughout this journey and it couldn't have come without what happened. how do you even process that, but it's true and i love Him for bruising me in order to heal me.
