A turned three yesterday.
tuesday night as i put her to bed, we prayed as we always do. she started praying about her birthday and i echoed it, but then couldn't stop crying. this is not how her third birthday was supposed to be. and again i feel the loss of my dear P. we always made birthdays a big thing... i tried to as much as i could, but in the midst of my sadness... it was hard. the prayer tuesday night was from the deepest part of my heart... asking the Lord to guide her every step and walk her through her dark days that are to come, for everyone has dark days.
that night as i was online, i got to talk to a friend. when i told him it was A's birthday, he told me how he remembered texting P on A's birthday last year and we were at the park with all her friends having a party. as i remembered that i was sad. it was such a fun day.
wednesday i was awaken with, "today my birthday mommy". when i told her yes... she was so excited. we woke up and got ready for her day of excitement. we were supposed to go to an indoor swimming resort, but it was closed on tuesdays and wednesdays, so last minute plans took us to the aquarium. my baby... already 3.
sunday night we went to A's friend's birthday party and during the opening of presents, A says, "i just don't understand why i don't get any" and buries her face into my lap. i laughed so hard. i couldn't believe that she said that.
so after the aquarium on wednesday we went to mcdonalds to have lunch and play at the play land. then went home for naps. in the evening we met my sister, eemo, for dinner and had a little party. that night... A started cubbies!! uh my baby is all grown up. she even memorized the verse for the night... "love your neighbor as yourself" or as A says it, "love your neighbor as your house".
i thank the Lord for giving me strength every morning to get up and have hope in what He has in store for me... even through the hard days...
