had a birthday without P. anticipated tears... feared how i would feel... it came and left... tears did come... what i feared did happen... all those mixed emotions... hurt, pain, happy it's a day of celebration... wishing he was here to make it the right amount of special he had always made it. thought of my birthdays we shared... smiled, cried, missed it... thankful so many people made it special in another way all at the same time having some kind of empty feeling. what are all those feelings?
had a great time with T and A. did lots of fun things, but just loved being with them. again going with mixed emotions and not knowing what to do with all of it. loved seeing everyone then thought of how P and i planned to visit them together. at dinner one night, i thought, if P was here... and then thought of how much fun the four of us would have together. thanks guys for the crab picking, bucketball, T for the late night talks... actually thanks for everything you've done... i love you and so does A.
as the plane was landing here i got really sad. after trips or things i do on my own, usually i get so excited to get to P and tell him everything we did... even if it was like an hour outing... i thought of how i didn't have him to tell every little detail... how he wasn't going to be home, but all at the same time being thankful that i had a home. weird huh? all these emotions that i have to deal with.
thanks for praying for our trip... we had great traveling despite the weather.
please pray as we get back to our own schedule... i was spoiled for four days... slept in the whole time i was with A and T and they took care of her!!!
