there are lots of things in life that make you grow up... i think i did a lot of growing up in the past few years with dating and getting married. but even after you get married, yes you have a role of being a wife, there are still aspects where you both could be a kid, just enjoy life. then we had A, boy do you have to grow up... you have this other life in your hands, that God has entrusted you with. i remember specifically P and i crying one night fearful of bringing this new life into such a corrupted sinful world wondering if we were ready for the challenge. now death... i really feel like there has been a lot of growing up i'm doing. your life is just turned upside down in a matter of minutes and you really don't have a choice but to grow up and make important decisions on your own, this time not just for me, but for A too... how intense is that.
i've been thinking of how many more decisions in the future i have to make for both A and myself... how that not only does it effect me, but A also... scared that i will make mistakes, actually knowing that i will probably make mistakes... praying and begging the Lord to guide me in each step i make in this process so it'll be good not just for me, but also for A.
again i think of the night P and i cried fearful of bringing a baby into this corrupted sinful world wondering how are we going to protect the baby from the evil in this world... at least then we were a team... now left alone to do it on my own... please pray with me as i raise A.
