i can't believe we're going back home in 25 more days. i know it's only going to be for a while, but that's home. i'm all mixed up about how i feel and sometimes feel overwhelmed thinking about it. i know how hard it's going to be... i know how good it's going to be... i know how i'll love being there... i know how i'll hate being there... i know how i'll miss him so much there... i know how much i miss him now... i know how A will have fun... i know how A will be confused that daddy is not there... i know all these things... it's hard knowing all these things.
i have lots of images that have been coming and going on in my mind... i'm scared of it being more vivid when i go there. it hurts enough here, but when you're where it happened, i think it might intensify it.
25 days... please hold us up in prayer... i don't know how i will survive this next month or so without it. prayer is really what got us this far, please continue to pray.
