isn't it amazing that it's already the end of the month and A and i have one more week until we go on an adventure. it's crazy how fast it came and that we are really going. i am thankful that the Lord has given me a sense of peace these past few days. i really am happy that He is letting me know that He is in control. i just need to rely on Him. how amazing is that...
this peace has come in a variety of areas... i think i could handle being alone, without P... i went to a bible study last weekend and was scared going to it because i didn't know what it would be like going to a bible study without P, but God is good. i had a great time. yes it was hard, but i got over that and actually enjoyed myself with the people i was with. i have peace about my future... i think i could handle taking care of both A and myself, not because i'm a super mom, but because again God is in control and i could sense that He is guiding me. i have peace about A... i think she'll grow up to be a godly woman... when P and i decided to try having a baby, we didn't know how long it would take or if God would even permit us to have one... but in His goodness He granted us a beautiful little girl and i know that she's more His than she is mine. i have peace about work... i haven't starting looking yet, but praying because soon i know i will have to work... even that i know that God is going before me... i could sense it. He always has been that for me... going before me and preparing something greater than anything i could imagine. so even though it still hurts and i still have cloudy days, i'm going to trust that my Abba is with me and that even in this He is preparing something great... greater than i could ever imagine.
i thank God for letting me have this peace before i go back because for a while, i didn't know if i could even trust God. i'm glad i could go, knowing that even though life is going to still suck for a while, i know with all my heart that i could trust Him... the thing is, when i go back, i'll go through doubts again because of all that i have to see, the people i will meet... all that i had to leave behind... memories, our home... all that will make me feel all mixed up again, but God's been working in my heart these past few weeks to kind of let me know i could trust Him again... and again just letting me know that it's going to be okay.
thank you to all of you out there praying for A and me. i know that i have come this far through your prayers and God will continue to listen to those prayers. i'd like to ask that you would continue to pray throughout our trip and for days to come. we really appreciate it.
God is good...
